Where does your TRUTH lie?

These last few months have been filled with some much tops turvy events and circumstances and each time I brought to this idea.. who and what are you putting you trust in?

As a believer, it has been drilled into my subconscious to Trust in the Lord, with ALL my heart...lean not to my own understanding, but in all things, acknowledge Him, and He will direct my path. A proverbs that has been quoted my who life and lives very close to my heart. And while I believe this and want this to be true I find myself thinking and doing things contrary to this belief.

More often times that not, I've realized that, (due to life experiences and disappointments) I put more trust in my self more than anyone or anything. I plan things out to a tee to avoid disappointment or setbacks, everything is on the calendar, my days color coded and structured, so that everyones schedule runs efficiently and effectively and at the end of the day, I am left exhausted by the physical and mental energy that has been exerted to ensure all things have been completed.

With all life's circumstances, changes and challenges on top of being in the last few weeks of pregnancy I have fully once again been reminded that, no matter how much you plan and do all the right things, you can not control the outcome. Even when I think its a no brainer and no other option would make sense and it doesn't go the way I thought it would or should go...how do I respond... what do I believe.. and who do I trust. Putting trust in my own abilities is what really has left me feeling so disappointed at times because I tell myself "You did all you could do." While that may be true, it still doesn’t mean that I control the outcome but I can control how I handle the outcome.

For the month of June, our church did a church wide devotional on JOY and man oh man did it remind me of this. Our joy doesn't come from anything other than the fact that I have the privilege to experience God's presence daily in my life and trust in His faithfulness and his promises. Even in the worse of circumstances, we are meant to count it all joy. Joy is something that I can control and it comes from knowing the One who is in control and believing that HIs promises are yes and amen and wants the best for me even when I can't see it.

So even as I prepare to give birth (very very soon) I am reminded to trust not only in my ability to give birth but to Trust in the ONE who created my body to give birth and that my body works to the perfection HE has created it to function. In God I trust